A few months ago I reached a point within my day job that I had nothing left to achieve. I made the decision to follow my heart and step into the fitness industry in a position that felt all too familiar. This made complete sense to me at the time. My new opportunity would allow me to combine my passion for business and sales with my passion for fitness and wellness. A win-win. Turns out it was, but not for the reasons I thought.
New Beginnings
The weekend before I started my new role I spent at the beach. It was an ideal time to take a few days to relax and wind down from the whirlwind and emotional time that preceded it. It was exactly what I needed, however the whole time I felt strange. 15 years with the same company in different roles, making impact and change, had given me a sense of identity that had now left a gaping hole. The relationships I built over time are ones I value still to this day. I felt sadness that some of those connections may be lost and the realisation that I would be starting from scratch seemed like a daunting prospect.
Despite this, after 4 years working remotely I felt excited to step back into an office. I was made to feel so welcome by genuine humans who embraced their positive organisational culture.
The two immediate challenges for me were the travel time and being the new girl. My work commute sucked. It was 3 hours per day in an old battered Mazda that had been around the block. In previous jobs I always prioritised living close to work so I could make the most of my days. From 7 minutes drive, to 5 minutes, to 2 minutes to none. I should have known the commute would wear me out but I just assumed I was more resilient now. I did get into a bit of a rhythm and would leave early to beat traffic, then train at the gym before work. This worked well for a while, and would allow for positive and energised mornings in the office and a ravenous appetite all day long.
After a few months of a hybrid working arrangement I became really sick. My instincts attribute this to being in fight or flight mode with elevated cortisol levels over a long period of time. Feeling so unwell and having time to think made me realise that I loved being in the office and being part of a team. I could have continued to travel 1 or 2 days a week but I knew that I would always feel like an outsider. After experiencing the joy of laughing with colleagues, I craved this on a more regular basis.
Being interested, not interesting
Early on I was so intent on proving myself and doing this quickly. Once I learned certain aspects of the role, I felt that I had many years of experience to utilise. I tried to run before I could walk and it was only after some challenges were presented that I was able to reflect and take the time to understand the ‘why’. I got to know the team and enjoyed being curious and interested in what was going on around me. I met a wonderful group of genuine people who made it a joy to be at work. Especially the young Gen Z’ers. You are all awesome.
Still, in my role, I found it difficult to make positive changes at the speed which I was used to. I had been so accustomed to wearing multiple hats that I longed to put the blinker on and change lanes.
Starting the coaching journey
Being in this new work situation felt really foreign for me, after previous years where I was able to envisage and execute professional goals with relative ease. As fate would have it, an opportunity to commit to professional coaching came at just the right time.
The first couple of sessions with my coach were difficult. I felt uncomfortable to be in this situation and would struggle to articulate my thoughts. I was negative and frustrated, and disappointed I was making this so hard for my coach. My coach Michelle showed a lot of patience and a lot of persistence in the beginning. She tried multiple ways to break down my wall. I was so used to googling an answer or listening to advice that I was reluctant to realise I needed to do the work from within. That’s coaching.
Over time, I developed a real connection with Michelle when we shared a few laughs as I am a great believer in humour bringing people together. Michelle opened up, and I found that the more trust we developed the more I became confident to share with her. I noticed I would put into action the things we discussed and looked forward to sharing these outcomes with her in the next session.
I learned a great deal and have a greater understanding of how valuable coaching can be. I recognise coaching requires you to really think about what you want, and what you don’t. It requires trying new things, being uncomfortable at times, and having trust in your coach and their training. If the saying is that ‘being uncomfortable is the price to pay for doing great things’, then I learned that is where I want to be.
I was able to transform my professional situation by taking actionable steps through the assurance Michelle showed in me during our sessions. I have now moved to an opportunity I would never have considered without these session. The confidence I have gained, and the magic of Michelle’s coaching, means I will continue to push the boundaries of my limiting beliefs.
Understanding when to walk away
During this time my passion project had been on pause. I longed for my sense of purpose from something that was mine. I felt I needed to put Rewire and Enhance on the backburner to give my heart and soul to my new employer. To give myself and the company every chance of success. And I did. But in the end, even after a short period of time, it still wasn’t enough.
I wanted more. To continually challenge myself, learn new things and become an active contributor for positive and affective change. Across many areas and down many lanes.
Most of all, I missed the Rewire and Enhance wellness community and nootropic enthusiasts I have met along the way. I am excited to continue this journey again alongside the chance to get out of my comfort zone. In a new industry which is progressive, that questions the status quo, with risk and reward. For those brave enough to take it on. Just like nootropics.
I will never want to stop helping people either as an employee or a small business owner. When this is reciprocated at the other end, and people see the magic in you, that’s when I feel like your wings can’t be clipped.
Some awesome coaches below for anyone who wants to unlock their potential.
Michelle Zhang (Leadership and Life Coaching) Winterberry Coaching (Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching and ADHD) Mark Moon (NLP / Mindfulness & Movement)
Comentários